I have recently taken on a part-time job to help pay for some of the extra activities and necessities for our children. (I am going to be completely honest and say out right that it is not where I would rather be spending my time!) Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to guilt my husband into asking for a long over due, well-deserved pay-raise, I certainly do not mind helping out financially. I am also going through some health issues and have chronic back pain which sometimes makes the manual labor of the job that much harder to deal with. Lately, I am feeling exhausted, worn down and a chronic lingering pain in my lower back. I find myself gritting my teeth to get by taking care of my children or doing household chores. I am blessed and grateful that my husband has stepped up to help with chores. I am also a type A personality and I like knowing where things are in the house. (I am sure my husband has some choice words for my grouchy attitude, but he is too much of a gentleman to say them, at least publicly!) This has been a tough adjustment and put me completely out of my comfort level, among feelings of losing total control of the household management and husband my not knowing that everything has a place, I feel like I am not being the mother or wife my family needs me to be. Sometimes those feelings are projected to my husband; I have to remind myself that he is helping, not get frustrated and treat him like one of the children when things are not in the correct places. After all, they have been in those places for years now, I guess he never had to notice and I am learning to be grateful for the laundry being done at all...even if I have to spend the next day trying to find it all in random places in our closets!
I took a job that would still allow me to be a "mom" during the day and not interfere with the chaotic schedules I have created by putting my children in to their various activities. I am not complaining about that, and please don't tell me "I did it to myself", because believe me I am well aware of the misery I put myself in by going in four different directions each afternoon and on weekends. Again, it is not that I am complaining about the reality of my life, I just am feeling a bit frazzled and overwhelmed. I could not imagine having to go to work 40 hours a week, 5 days a week and still keeping up with the kids schedules. Most activities are not meant for children who have two working parents who are not each assigned a nanny. The hardest thing is realizing that the 4 years of college and the degree I had so many dreams with is not being used at all. In fact, I am working for just over minimum wage and after a 9 hour shift, I still make $5 less than my husband does an hour. I am only doing two overnights a week and my 30 hours are structured, not like my husbands sometimes 50-60 hours, so in the scheme of things, he puts in more time with no extra pay than I do. Even so, I know my lack of sleep adds tremendously to my low sense of financial worth; but the reality is, it is a sacrifice I wanted to make, although sometimes I find myself resenting my husband for his prestigious career and my children for the financial impact they have on our lives. I guess my parents were too kind to tell me that I would be signing up to be an ATM machine on automatic withdrawal every single day!
It was never supposed to be this way, I always wanted to be a mother, marry a man who did well in his career and hold down my own career as well. My degree and career were in Social Work, so I always knew I would not be rich, in fact I half expected to be living on the same food stamps my clients were on. Actually, one of the reasons I quit working full time was because we were paying more in daycare costs than I was bringing in. I could probably write for the next year about how we are completely backwards in our culture and we pay our helping professional nothing close to what their value to society is, but I would not be writing about anything you all do not already know. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to gain sympathy or complain about the fact that I have to work, it is just that sometimes it is hard to see the silver lining when you are in the middle of a situation you are not happy to be in. I know how silly and petty my attitude in this sounds, but sometimes when we are forced to do things we do not want to do, it makes us feel like we are the only ones who are suffering. I am not talking about suffering in comparison to the rest of the world, because I am aware of how blessed I am and how humanity suffers in much greater areas than my tiny little microcosm right now. I am referring to the type of suffering we all do on a daily basis, just to get by. Sometimes this suffering seems more than we can bear or unfair that we are enduring it at all. Human beings always think that we are the only ones who are suffering and no one can understand what we are going through. After all, why does God allow any of his children to feel any kind of suffering, no matter how great or small it may be?
It is funny sometimes when we are in the midst of our own personal frustrations, we find that God does present us with the grace to endure and become closer to Him. Sometimes we ignore it or are too stubborn to accept when it presents itself...or like me, I would rather not address it at all, my ego sometimes just cannot take it! I also know that I have endured far more suffering and pain in my life than this, that it makes me feel shame in myself that I am being such a baby in the first place. (Another blow to my ego, if I could accept it from the get-go, I would not be writing this to begin with!) I am reading a book called Meetings with Mary, Visions of the Blessed Mother, I have been reading it for a couple months now. It is not the kind of book I am reading consistently, lets face it, with four kids, I am happy to get to read anything over the easy reader levels. Yet, no matter how far I get, where ever I pick up, the content always pertains to the realities of my life at that moment. I know that is not by accident. Nothing is.
Last night, I read about an amazing visionary to the Blessed Mother, Bernardo Martinez, his visions happened at a time of tremendous suffering for him and the people in his country of Nicaragua. One message our Blessed Mother gave to him struck me particularly. "Fulfill your duties, put the Word of God into practice...Do not ask God constantly for things that are unimportant. Ask God to increase your faith so that you have the strength to carry your own cross...Ask instead for faith in order that you will have patience". I read this message over and over again, it was like it was written just for my moment, my small suffering and for my own personal growth. I was humbled and embarrassed at the same time and I found myself asking the Blessed Mother for forgiveness for my petty feelings of abandonment and my lack of faith that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Right now at this moment. I may feel like I am suffering so much for so little and I may not like having to do what I am doing, but there is a lesson in it for me. I do not have the answers to the lesson just yet, but I am sure in God's time I will be inspired by and learn the value of them.
I am not going to end this with an answer to my personal journey presently, because I am still in the midst of it and learning from it. This time I am going to simply let it be. I am going to accept that what ever comes along in my life that brings me suffering, is God's way of bringing me closer to Him. It is the Blessed Mother's way of bringing me closer to her Son. What I am suffering for my children right now is far less than she had to sacrifice, the beautiful idea that I get to learn from it makes it easier to offer up. What I do know right now is that this suffering will end and I will experience different levels of it throughout my life. Yet, in the end, I will see my own children grow up, have families and grow old. She never got that chance, she knew she would not and yet, she still welcomed the suffering and pain it brought. Her complete trust in His Word, gave her the faith to endure her human existence. One thing I do know is that the knowledge I will gain from this period of suffering will ultimately help me to bring my children closer to Him. There is no amount of suffering, too great or too small, more worth the sacrifice than that. Nothing at all.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Children are Gifts to Raise, Not Possessions to Control.
There are two things that hit me this week. Well, actually many things hit me throughout the week...dirty clothes, diapers, homework, food at dinner, I could go on and on, but that is a girlfriend complaint over a long needed glass of wine! Over the weekend, I watched my 4th grade son play in his basketball game. There is so much pain and excitement in watching 10 year-olds play who think they are all NBA material; along with the overcrowding of the gymnasium, and high pitched screams of the siblings under the bleachers, it is sometimes hard to concentrate on what is going on. One particular part stuck me as odd, I know this was not the case when I was 10 in every sporting event I played in, I remember that there is always a team that wins and a team that loses. At the end of every long fought out game, there was nothing better (or worse) than looking at the scoreboard and seeing how you either triumphed in or needed improvement on. Even when it was not apparent, we always knew the general outcome of the game. Kids do that, they keep mental score; we all know as parents, we do it too. It was that way for my parents, their parents and so on. Not last weekend. There was indeed a scoreboard, but it remained scoreless. Even though, I know for a fact that my own child scored several points, he was quick to tell me how many at the end of the game and the final score. My husband asked someone who was keeping track of plays for the teams and his reason was that we didn't want anyone to feel bad about themselves for losing.
I completely get that. I understand that we are teaching our children equality, but at the same time, (and here is where the "Tiger Mom" reference may be applied to me!) why are we not teaching our children that not every one can win and there may be failures in their lives that they need to learn to adjust and grow from? I know we want our children to feel good about their accomplishments, but how can we expect them to give all they have and know the importance of accomplishment when they are not allowed to see it first hand? It reminded me of a study I read last year on the higher levels of teenage suicide in the past few years, more than in years past, of high school graduates who try and/or succeed at a suicide attempt after being rejected from the colleges of their dreams. Why are we raising a generation of children who think that they deserve whatever it is they want to achieve, without having to work for it or "win" the game they are in to get to that goal? I am not talking about the old tactics that were involved with dodge ball in junior high, but the simple common sense notion, that kids need to learn what it means to lose from time to time and how to deal with it. Without mommy and daddy buying them something to compensate for the bad feelings about themselves, we have a generation of children who do not know how to handle their own failures and manage their feelings.
This brings me to the second Epiphany of this week, slightly different from a scoreless game, but in the end, it brings the same result. I came across a news story out of Australia, in which a couple aborted the twin boys they were carrying, because they wanted a girl to replace the child they lost. Their reasoning was that they already had three boys and could not afford to bring every child into the world to get a girl. Australia was not sure they would allow the to use abortion for this reason. The couple said it was their right to sex select and that they would come to the United States to seek treatment if refused by their Country. I was horrified when I read this, not just because of the miss use of abortion by pro-choice standards, but because our society would allow such an idea and not think anything of it. I am not in anyway advocating the use of abortion in any circumstance, but the idea of abusing it to get the child you want, is not only immoral, but unjust. What does this say to their three sons? What if they have a girl child with special needs or she is not the daughter they dreamed she would be? This is truly tragic for the little boys who were created and then destroyed and for the parents that their quest to have a female child has blinded them from magic and beauty of life. This is an example of human beings playing God without consciously regarding the repercussions and pain that will later ensue. I am not in their shoes and I am not going to judge their souls, but I do hope that there is an awakening from this and human beings can understand the irrational excuses we use to get what we want. My mother always told me, that if you are struggling with a decision in your heart and you have to use a "but" to justify if, then it probably needs to be examined thoroughly and not taken lightly. This story has many "buts" in it and I would hope and pray that they can find peace and forgiveness in their lives.
What does this have to do with not keeping score at a child's basketball game you ask? They are both on completely different levels of morality, but the social teaching and lessons our children learn from our life choices and example's are similar. We have no universal set foundation for teaching our children personal responsibility and dealing with the consequences. We have the Ten Commandments in which our laws are based off of, yet we use many "buts" in the laws to justify things we do not want or deem is inconvenient at that moment in our lives. Children who are never taught to deal with failure or not getting their wishes, think they are in ultimate control of their existence, therefore, there is no consequence for their free-will. They do not see that God is ultimately in control of their life and that sometimes, His plan is greater than the life they are living in that moment. They do not know how to deal with not getting instant gratification. Remember the golden rule our parents told us as children? Good things come to those who wait. I have found many times as a mother where I struggle to accept that rule when it comes to my children. We want to control their environment so they do not get hurt, fail at anything or know heart ache. We want them to experience only good feelings, like the joy of a win or the fulfillment in getting what their hearts desire. How can we teach children to live Christlike and accept themselves to the fullest if we set examples in life for them that are false?
It brings me to the one rule I live by as a mother. Believe me, it is not an easy rule to accept daily and I have to remind myself that it is right, especially since my heart is permanently on my sleeve. We do not own our children. They are not our possessions. We cannot control every aspect of their lives and expect them to handle rejection as adults. As a mother, I am a vessel for God to bring life and souls to this earth. My job is to care for them, love them and to nurture them with a strong foundation that enables them to be the best they can be. As a Catholic, it is referred to as raising little saints; my ultimate goal is to raise saintly children. Not in the sense that they will all grow up to be Mother Teresa's or Saint Francis of Assisi's; but that they will have the foundation, confidence and self-love to understand that they individually are a child of God. That their lives are about learning and elevated awareness, failure and success, and most of using every experience in their life to become better and closer to God. I don't get to control that, nor do I get to control which child God needs me to raise. They are all gifts, each one wrapped in His trust of me that I will do the work I was made to do. As a parent, I need to be conscious of that in my daily life.
It is my duty to raise my to understand that if something happens they do not like, they cannot just get rid of the situation or buy their way out of it. Children who have never known loss or failure, grow up to expect that nothing is out of their control. They become parents without any conscious awareness of their individual purpose and believe that they have the right to justify their actions to create their individual happiness. A false happiness. Things like winning a game as a child can easily have the same justification into adulthood; like aborting a baby because you it is not the child you want. This is not just about abortion, it is about everything unexpected day to day in our lives.
The truth is that not a single one of us has always been the child our parents dreamed we would be. We have given them heart-ache, disappointment and loss; we have also shown them unconditional love, knowledge and life. We just never accepted that we are so much more than our human expectations; in truth, we are the children God wanted and planned for us to be. As human beings, it is imperative that we understand and teach our children that. Not everything in our lives will go as planned and we cannot always have it the way we want it to be, but our faith teaches us that ultimately, it is not up to us. Only God knows our path, even with free-will, the outcome is known and where we will end up. It is up to us to surrender to that trust to be the vessels He needs us to be in body, spirit and most importantly as examples of light for the future generations.
I completely get that. I understand that we are teaching our children equality, but at the same time, (and here is where the "Tiger Mom" reference may be applied to me!) why are we not teaching our children that not every one can win and there may be failures in their lives that they need to learn to adjust and grow from? I know we want our children to feel good about their accomplishments, but how can we expect them to give all they have and know the importance of accomplishment when they are not allowed to see it first hand? It reminded me of a study I read last year on the higher levels of teenage suicide in the past few years, more than in years past, of high school graduates who try and/or succeed at a suicide attempt after being rejected from the colleges of their dreams. Why are we raising a generation of children who think that they deserve whatever it is they want to achieve, without having to work for it or "win" the game they are in to get to that goal? I am not talking about the old tactics that were involved with dodge ball in junior high, but the simple common sense notion, that kids need to learn what it means to lose from time to time and how to deal with it. Without mommy and daddy buying them something to compensate for the bad feelings about themselves, we have a generation of children who do not know how to handle their own failures and manage their feelings.
This brings me to the second Epiphany of this week, slightly different from a scoreless game, but in the end, it brings the same result. I came across a news story out of Australia, in which a couple aborted the twin boys they were carrying, because they wanted a girl to replace the child they lost. Their reasoning was that they already had three boys and could not afford to bring every child into the world to get a girl. Australia was not sure they would allow the to use abortion for this reason. The couple said it was their right to sex select and that they would come to the United States to seek treatment if refused by their Country. I was horrified when I read this, not just because of the miss use of abortion by pro-choice standards, but because our society would allow such an idea and not think anything of it. I am not in anyway advocating the use of abortion in any circumstance, but the idea of abusing it to get the child you want, is not only immoral, but unjust. What does this say to their three sons? What if they have a girl child with special needs or she is not the daughter they dreamed she would be? This is truly tragic for the little boys who were created and then destroyed and for the parents that their quest to have a female child has blinded them from magic and beauty of life. This is an example of human beings playing God without consciously regarding the repercussions and pain that will later ensue. I am not in their shoes and I am not going to judge their souls, but I do hope that there is an awakening from this and human beings can understand the irrational excuses we use to get what we want. My mother always told me, that if you are struggling with a decision in your heart and you have to use a "but" to justify if, then it probably needs to be examined thoroughly and not taken lightly. This story has many "buts" in it and I would hope and pray that they can find peace and forgiveness in their lives.
What does this have to do with not keeping score at a child's basketball game you ask? They are both on completely different levels of morality, but the social teaching and lessons our children learn from our life choices and example's are similar. We have no universal set foundation for teaching our children personal responsibility and dealing with the consequences. We have the Ten Commandments in which our laws are based off of, yet we use many "buts" in the laws to justify things we do not want or deem is inconvenient at that moment in our lives. Children who are never taught to deal with failure or not getting their wishes, think they are in ultimate control of their existence, therefore, there is no consequence for their free-will. They do not see that God is ultimately in control of their life and that sometimes, His plan is greater than the life they are living in that moment. They do not know how to deal with not getting instant gratification. Remember the golden rule our parents told us as children? Good things come to those who wait. I have found many times as a mother where I struggle to accept that rule when it comes to my children. We want to control their environment so they do not get hurt, fail at anything or know heart ache. We want them to experience only good feelings, like the joy of a win or the fulfillment in getting what their hearts desire. How can we teach children to live Christlike and accept themselves to the fullest if we set examples in life for them that are false?
It brings me to the one rule I live by as a mother. Believe me, it is not an easy rule to accept daily and I have to remind myself that it is right, especially since my heart is permanently on my sleeve. We do not own our children. They are not our possessions. We cannot control every aspect of their lives and expect them to handle rejection as adults. As a mother, I am a vessel for God to bring life and souls to this earth. My job is to care for them, love them and to nurture them with a strong foundation that enables them to be the best they can be. As a Catholic, it is referred to as raising little saints; my ultimate goal is to raise saintly children. Not in the sense that they will all grow up to be Mother Teresa's or Saint Francis of Assisi's; but that they will have the foundation, confidence and self-love to understand that they individually are a child of God. That their lives are about learning and elevated awareness, failure and success, and most of using every experience in their life to become better and closer to God. I don't get to control that, nor do I get to control which child God needs me to raise. They are all gifts, each one wrapped in His trust of me that I will do the work I was made to do. As a parent, I need to be conscious of that in my daily life.
It is my duty to raise my to understand that if something happens they do not like, they cannot just get rid of the situation or buy their way out of it. Children who have never known loss or failure, grow up to expect that nothing is out of their control. They become parents without any conscious awareness of their individual purpose and believe that they have the right to justify their actions to create their individual happiness. A false happiness. Things like winning a game as a child can easily have the same justification into adulthood; like aborting a baby because you it is not the child you want. This is not just about abortion, it is about everything unexpected day to day in our lives.
The truth is that not a single one of us has always been the child our parents dreamed we would be. We have given them heart-ache, disappointment and loss; we have also shown them unconditional love, knowledge and life. We just never accepted that we are so much more than our human expectations; in truth, we are the children God wanted and planned for us to be. As human beings, it is imperative that we understand and teach our children that. Not everything in our lives will go as planned and we cannot always have it the way we want it to be, but our faith teaches us that ultimately, it is not up to us. Only God knows our path, even with free-will, the outcome is known and where we will end up. It is up to us to surrender to that trust to be the vessels He needs us to be in body, spirit and most importantly as examples of light for the future generations.
Monday, January 10, 2011
What a long year this has been. After a bit of a hiatus and family issues, I am ready to commit to this blog weekly...well, at least monthly. I am hoping my four children will grant me the time and patience to complete this task!
Many of you are aware that I am a political wife, with a husband who works tirelessly alongside state and national members of Congress and Senate. No matter what side they align with, I have found one thing true in each of them. They all want what is best for this Country and its people. Our views may all be different and our opinions of how to do right by the people vary, but the underlying fact is that most people who represent their state or districts do so with public service in mind. Many of them stray from that once they are in office or by outside interest groups pushing their own agendas, but for the most part each elected official tries to do what they think is right. In light of what has happened over the weekend in Arizona, I have felt compelled to write as a mother, a wife and a voting member of society.
I have read over the past few days, emails, articles and blogs all which blame one party or the other for this tragedy. I have seen Democrats point fingers at Sarah Palin for the words she used during the last election or the Republican agenda for more gun control. I have seen Republicans blame Democrats for their votes in Health Care and even heard some say that they would personally pull the plug on the young Man who committed this horrible crime when he is convicted. The biggest underlying issue I keep hearing is the blame of the right-winged media or liberal controlled media outlets (depending on who you align with) for spreading each sides hate filled, immoral and valueless rhetoric. Has anyone actually taken a breath to see who is really affected? It came to me last night as I watched the youngest victim, 9 year-old Christina Greene's heartbroken parents, speak with such dignity and grace about the life of their daughter. I am sure they are going to have the worst times ahead of them and will, for the rest of their lives feel the pain of her loss. My heart breaks for them and for her life cut short. I also watched in awe as they did not set blame on anyone for the senseless loss of the amazing life God had given them to raise for 9 years. Am I the only one who saw the beauty inside of their suffering? I do not mean it is beautiful that they are suffering, but for the grace, composure and dignity they have displayed in this. They did not blame a Republican or a Democrat, they did not point fingers at the man who fired the gun, I am sure there will be anger at some point for them, but they did not continue with the hate and anger the rest of the nation is so enthralled with.
Maybe it is their incredible faith in God, maybe it is in their love for each other, or it could just be out or mourning and respect for their beautiful daughter. For me it was a piece of an awakening. This is what happens when we as a society and culture have allowed different values to be placed on all life. I am not talking about this being pro-life or a woman's right's issue, I am talking about a Human Issue for each one of us as stewards of God's earth. We have created and allowed a society that does not value life to its core, including every individual, from womb to death. Our egos are so large that we have decided that is it acceptable for Human beings to decide who plays God. We are a society that has created many weapons with full intention to cause pain or kill other life that we deem not valuable. We use words without thinking of their effect on others who listen and we use them to spew hateful things to people or things we do not agree with. We have not yet learned to take responsibility for our individual free will and what we say, only then, can we fully understand that the most damaging weapon of our time are our words.
This shooting is not directly related to Sarah Palin's choice of words, whether they are used out of context or not, it is related to a society who picks and chooses life in every form, when it has a value and when it does not, then expects is young generations to adhere to values we do not show them. We have a society who deems people on different levels of value, the CEO and the Homeless person, the ways Jewish people view Palestinians, the way Palestinians view Jews. A black child in an impoverished country, a Native American Child on a Reservation in South Dakota, a white child in the Ozarks; all three are equally living without adequate education, food or access to medical care. A child who is killed in the womb because they are not deemed to be valuable members of society or a person who was born with a mental or physical disability not receiving the care and dignity during their life time. Someone who kills animals or creatures for sport and not food. An elderly person who cannot support themselves and is allowed to waste away in a facility or euthanized because they are not whom they once were. Someone who caused damage to the earth for monetary gain or power, not for the good of all its people. People who are pro-choice and for a women's right to choose, but do not want people who are alive now to go to war. People who are pro-life, but will not place a child in their home to raise or who want criminals killed because they are a strain on their tax dollars. Just like the groups that primarily put money towards Gabrielle Giffords election, (Emily's List: under the guise of Planned Parenthood and NARAL). How it is OK for them to speak against something so horrific, when they are also committing atrocities each day to our young generation and not showing them something so simple as an ultra sound to show life at its core? The Republican candidate funded by the NRA and gun rights groups who advocate for less influence on their 2nd amendment rights to bear arms, with a waiting period not long enough to be sure that people with mental illness cannot get them. He wanted to storm the Arizona capitol with guns to take it back, again he didn't mean for someone to die, but did not think about how his words could possible spur something in the mind of a troubled individual. Am I the only one who sees the complete hypocrisy of both sides? My favorite argument as to why this senseless act happened was because she supported Health Care, which a lot of the country disagrees with. Seriously people? This is not about just a Health care vote or the many opposing views as to how it should be implemented. I have been asking the same question since this debate began, one which neither political side has been able to answer. How can we get people to understand that everyone is entitled to health care when we accept life to be valuable at different stages? Why would our young people think that every one as a child of God should be helped at all stages of life when our society allows the most vulnerable humans, animals and parts of the planet to be violated?
What happened on Saturday is horrific, tragic and inexcusable. We cannot blame or point fingers because there are unstable people in society, we cannot say it was someone implied something and this is what caused it. Instead we need to be sure we use our words wisely and show each individual, by example that we value every human life, that their live is of value. If young people feel they have a value and love who they are, they will not want to hurt their neighbors and will understand how to be a steward of the earth. How can we expect a generation of people to grow up using good judgment in a society that says it is acceptable to give and take life without consequence? This is the true circle of life and how it is intended to be. This is what is really going on here...both sides are amazing hypocrites and to say that one individual is responsible for this shooting is using great ignorance and also spewing unnecessary hate...Hate which built up in this man to begin with. We must condone his actions, but we must also as a nation, forgive him and let him heal as a valuable human being. Killing him for his actions is God's choice, not ours, and it makes us as a nation no better in the eyes of God than he was by his actions.
We need to teach younger generations, that they are also entirely responsible for their own behavior and choices, that is why they have free will, but they also need to have the foundations from us to be able to form good choices. We lack that in our society, this young man used terrible choice in his free will. For that there will be severe consequences, but we cannot not continue to play God, we need to raise up as a society, use restraint in situations and live lives that we were blessed to be given; not full of hate and blame, but full or grace and personal responsibility. We always hear our political leader saying that they have to lead by example, yet it is the example their ego's choose, not necessarily what is right by our children. How can we expect our young to rise up and prevail if we fail to change what is not working or put an excuse as to why we allow life to be valued at different levels?
Instead of sending emails, writing articles or listening to radio hosts spew anger in people, we need to be asking people to pray. Pray for Congresswoman Giffords, the innocent lives who were lost, those who lives will forever be altered by physical or emotional injury to this event and for the lost soul of this young man...who at some point could have been any one of our children. Also for forgiveness to heal and accept responsibility for what we as a nation have allowed to exist.
Many Democrats say that being pro-choice helps control the human population of the earth for the betterment of the planet. Many Republicans say that being pro-life helps people to value human beings. The circle is bigger than that and in reality both sides are partially correct, yet so skewed by personal opinion and emotion rather than what is right. Why don't we start by being understanding we are made from God and are called to live in example of his son, Jesus Christ. We have the ability to restrain ourselves and not to overpopulate the earth, we have the ability to educate and to take care of every individual life on this planet. We have the duty to show love and grace to the earth that hosts us, onto the plants, animals and humans inhabit it. You cannot be a stewards of God' planet if you pick and choose how you want to live and then make excuses for it. You have to act by example and live it, teach it and begin with love of self. A generation who loves and understands the value of life will in turn, protect a planet which provides life. There are no if's, and's or but's about it. How can such a great society be so wrong and so egotistical about this? This is why I am not a democrat or a republican, I am a human being and an American who wishes her fellow countrymen and women to awaken in their souls the blessing of life all around on this earth, not just when it is convenient, for monetary or political gain.
May God bless the people affected by this tragedy, may God bless our leaders, nation and its people that they rise up and be the light that we were meant to be in this world. Most of all may God bless everyone and His earth; one who has taken so much and asked so little of us who are meant to care for Her.
Many of you are aware that I am a political wife, with a husband who works tirelessly alongside state and national members of Congress and Senate. No matter what side they align with, I have found one thing true in each of them. They all want what is best for this Country and its people. Our views may all be different and our opinions of how to do right by the people vary, but the underlying fact is that most people who represent their state or districts do so with public service in mind. Many of them stray from that once they are in office or by outside interest groups pushing their own agendas, but for the most part each elected official tries to do what they think is right. In light of what has happened over the weekend in Arizona, I have felt compelled to write as a mother, a wife and a voting member of society.
I have read over the past few days, emails, articles and blogs all which blame one party or the other for this tragedy. I have seen Democrats point fingers at Sarah Palin for the words she used during the last election or the Republican agenda for more gun control. I have seen Republicans blame Democrats for their votes in Health Care and even heard some say that they would personally pull the plug on the young Man who committed this horrible crime when he is convicted. The biggest underlying issue I keep hearing is the blame of the right-winged media or liberal controlled media outlets (depending on who you align with) for spreading each sides hate filled, immoral and valueless rhetoric. Has anyone actually taken a breath to see who is really affected? It came to me last night as I watched the youngest victim, 9 year-old Christina Greene's heartbroken parents, speak with such dignity and grace about the life of their daughter. I am sure they are going to have the worst times ahead of them and will, for the rest of their lives feel the pain of her loss. My heart breaks for them and for her life cut short. I also watched in awe as they did not set blame on anyone for the senseless loss of the amazing life God had given them to raise for 9 years. Am I the only one who saw the beauty inside of their suffering? I do not mean it is beautiful that they are suffering, but for the grace, composure and dignity they have displayed in this. They did not blame a Republican or a Democrat, they did not point fingers at the man who fired the gun, I am sure there will be anger at some point for them, but they did not continue with the hate and anger the rest of the nation is so enthralled with.
Maybe it is their incredible faith in God, maybe it is in their love for each other, or it could just be out or mourning and respect for their beautiful daughter. For me it was a piece of an awakening. This is what happens when we as a society and culture have allowed different values to be placed on all life. I am not talking about this being pro-life or a woman's right's issue, I am talking about a Human Issue for each one of us as stewards of God's earth. We have created and allowed a society that does not value life to its core, including every individual, from womb to death. Our egos are so large that we have decided that is it acceptable for Human beings to decide who plays God. We are a society that has created many weapons with full intention to cause pain or kill other life that we deem not valuable. We use words without thinking of their effect on others who listen and we use them to spew hateful things to people or things we do not agree with. We have not yet learned to take responsibility for our individual free will and what we say, only then, can we fully understand that the most damaging weapon of our time are our words.
This shooting is not directly related to Sarah Palin's choice of words, whether they are used out of context or not, it is related to a society who picks and chooses life in every form, when it has a value and when it does not, then expects is young generations to adhere to values we do not show them. We have a society who deems people on different levels of value, the CEO and the Homeless person, the ways Jewish people view Palestinians, the way Palestinians view Jews. A black child in an impoverished country, a Native American Child on a Reservation in South Dakota, a white child in the Ozarks; all three are equally living without adequate education, food or access to medical care. A child who is killed in the womb because they are not deemed to be valuable members of society or a person who was born with a mental or physical disability not receiving the care and dignity during their life time. Someone who kills animals or creatures for sport and not food. An elderly person who cannot support themselves and is allowed to waste away in a facility or euthanized because they are not whom they once were. Someone who caused damage to the earth for monetary gain or power, not for the good of all its people. People who are pro-choice and for a women's right to choose, but do not want people who are alive now to go to war. People who are pro-life, but will not place a child in their home to raise or who want criminals killed because they are a strain on their tax dollars. Just like the groups that primarily put money towards Gabrielle Giffords election, (Emily's List: under the guise of Planned Parenthood and NARAL). How it is OK for them to speak against something so horrific, when they are also committing atrocities each day to our young generation and not showing them something so simple as an ultra sound to show life at its core? The Republican candidate funded by the NRA and gun rights groups who advocate for less influence on their 2nd amendment rights to bear arms, with a waiting period not long enough to be sure that people with mental illness cannot get them. He wanted to storm the Arizona capitol with guns to take it back, again he didn't mean for someone to die, but did not think about how his words could possible spur something in the mind of a troubled individual. Am I the only one who sees the complete hypocrisy of both sides? My favorite argument as to why this senseless act happened was because she supported Health Care, which a lot of the country disagrees with. Seriously people? This is not about just a Health care vote or the many opposing views as to how it should be implemented. I have been asking the same question since this debate began, one which neither political side has been able to answer. How can we get people to understand that everyone is entitled to health care when we accept life to be valuable at different stages? Why would our young people think that every one as a child of God should be helped at all stages of life when our society allows the most vulnerable humans, animals and parts of the planet to be violated?
What happened on Saturday is horrific, tragic and inexcusable. We cannot blame or point fingers because there are unstable people in society, we cannot say it was someone implied something and this is what caused it. Instead we need to be sure we use our words wisely and show each individual, by example that we value every human life, that their live is of value. If young people feel they have a value and love who they are, they will not want to hurt their neighbors and will understand how to be a steward of the earth. How can we expect a generation of people to grow up using good judgment in a society that says it is acceptable to give and take life without consequence? This is the true circle of life and how it is intended to be. This is what is really going on here...both sides are amazing hypocrites and to say that one individual is responsible for this shooting is using great ignorance and also spewing unnecessary hate...Hate which built up in this man to begin with. We must condone his actions, but we must also as a nation, forgive him and let him heal as a valuable human being. Killing him for his actions is God's choice, not ours, and it makes us as a nation no better in the eyes of God than he was by his actions.
We need to teach younger generations, that they are also entirely responsible for their own behavior and choices, that is why they have free will, but they also need to have the foundations from us to be able to form good choices. We lack that in our society, this young man used terrible choice in his free will. For that there will be severe consequences, but we cannot not continue to play God, we need to raise up as a society, use restraint in situations and live lives that we were blessed to be given; not full of hate and blame, but full or grace and personal responsibility. We always hear our political leader saying that they have to lead by example, yet it is the example their ego's choose, not necessarily what is right by our children. How can we expect our young to rise up and prevail if we fail to change what is not working or put an excuse as to why we allow life to be valued at different levels?
Instead of sending emails, writing articles or listening to radio hosts spew anger in people, we need to be asking people to pray. Pray for Congresswoman Giffords, the innocent lives who were lost, those who lives will forever be altered by physical or emotional injury to this event and for the lost soul of this young man...who at some point could have been any one of our children. Also for forgiveness to heal and accept responsibility for what we as a nation have allowed to exist.
Many Democrats say that being pro-choice helps control the human population of the earth for the betterment of the planet. Many Republicans say that being pro-life helps people to value human beings. The circle is bigger than that and in reality both sides are partially correct, yet so skewed by personal opinion and emotion rather than what is right. Why don't we start by being understanding we are made from God and are called to live in example of his son, Jesus Christ. We have the ability to restrain ourselves and not to overpopulate the earth, we have the ability to educate and to take care of every individual life on this planet. We have the duty to show love and grace to the earth that hosts us, onto the plants, animals and humans inhabit it. You cannot be a stewards of God' planet if you pick and choose how you want to live and then make excuses for it. You have to act by example and live it, teach it and begin with love of self. A generation who loves and understands the value of life will in turn, protect a planet which provides life. There are no if's, and's or but's about it. How can such a great society be so wrong and so egotistical about this? This is why I am not a democrat or a republican, I am a human being and an American who wishes her fellow countrymen and women to awaken in their souls the blessing of life all around on this earth, not just when it is convenient, for monetary or political gain.
May God bless the people affected by this tragedy, may God bless our leaders, nation and its people that they rise up and be the light that we were meant to be in this world. Most of all may God bless everyone and His earth; one who has taken so much and asked so little of us who are meant to care for Her.
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